Post by sorkarhira on Nov 9, 2024 4:50:34 GMT
A responsible employee who is always ready to help colleagues with their tasks, work on weekends or during vacation. A best friend who is ready to come at night and listen to the problems of a loved one. A caring sister who supports her brother and is in a hurry to give the last savings for his dreams. Perhaps you recognized yourself in one of the examples. It is often difficult for us to refuse others, so we find ourselves in a cage of other people's requests and problems, in which there is no place for our own desires and needs. And all because saying "no" requires titanic efforts from us.
Sometimes, to the detriment of ourselves and our personal lives, we rush to help others, without thinking about the limitations of our resources and whether the person really needs help that much. Maybe he just wants to shift responsibility to us or get a benefit. Such situations can be recognized and a person can be responded to in a way that does not offend him. How to do this - we will tell in the article.
Analyze what you are not willing to give up
Once you determine what website development service is truly important to you and what you are not willing to spend your time on, then you will be able to confidently say “no” to someone. Write down on a piece of paper a list of activities, events, and people that are a priority for you. This way, you will clearly understand your desires and boundaries, and also understand in which situations you can help and in which you will definitely refuse.
Say no to the request, not the person.
You were approached with a request, which means that you are considered a good person who can help out in a difficult moment. But this does not oblige you to fulfill the request unconditionally. If you refuse to help, you will not spoil the relationship with the person. You just cannot help at the moment. Thank the person who turned to you and give a polite answer.
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Explain the reason
It will be easier for you to refuse a request if you voice the reason, and the person will understand you better and will not be offended. Do not be afraid to say that you are busy or tired, you have a meeting planned and it is important for you to attend it. Just explain why you cannot help right now.
Don't give up, be relentless
Some people do not understand negative answers and begin to persuade, manipulate and play on pity. Do not give in to persuasion, repeat the reason for refusal again and emphasize that it is really important for you. If the opponent continues to insist on the request, do not be afraid to answer him "no" with the same confidence.
Be bold in your decisions
If you are used to saying yes to any request, you need to gather up the courage to start saying no to people. Some people agree to help because they are afraid of offending someone, do not want to be thought of badly, or are worried that they will miss a good opportunity and regret it. Explain to yourself that by saying no to a request, you free up your time for more important and meaningful things that will improve your life.
Polite refusal will help you stay effective and maintain your peace of mind. Knowing when to say “no” will not make you a bad person, but will help you become self-confident and move clearly towards your goals. Learn how to outline personal boundaries and prevent their violation in the free course “ Conflict Management ”. You will learn to identify the causes and stages of conflicts, and also master techniques and methods for managing negative emotions.
We asked Olesya Nikolaevna Rozhkova, a psychologist and master's degree in Developmental Psychology, to explain what prevents a person from refusing others and defending their boundaries.
Psychologist Rozhkova"Let's look at the situation using an example: a colleague comes to you and asks you to make a report. You have your own important tasks, but it's hard for you to refuse, because you are a good employee and can help, albeit to your own detriment. The situation can be compared to the following: a friend asks to borrow a large sum of money. You don't have that kind of money, but you feel uncomfortable refusing, so you agree and go to the bank to get a loan. And then you work all year to pay back the debt with interest. If someone asks you for help, make sure that you have enough resources to fulfill the request. When you don't have enough time or energy, you shouldn't agree.
Another example: a girl comes up to you and asks for 26 rubles for a taxi, you have 126 rubles in your wallet. You can give the money, but then you will have to sacrifice your needs. Always be honest with yourself: "I have no energy and resources." Monitor your condition and do not bring yourself to the extreme, when there is not enough air and you begin to suffocate.
Or another case, your brother got offended when you refused to help him, and this bothers you. Here it is important to learn to withstand other people's emotions. Everyone has the right to their feelings and should not ask you if he can be sad or happy.
To learn how to refuse people, it is important to see their strength and believe that each person can cope with their problems. Sometimes you need to be able to admit your weakness, that you are not omnipotent and cannot save everyone. Respect the fate of another person and sincerely believe that he can solve the problem on his own. Do not try to measure others by your strength, but try to see in a person his capabilities. You should not do the work for someone else and change someone else's fate.
For example, a friend is struggling and is on the verge of quitting. You try your best to help them, ignoring the fact that this activity is simply not right for them and perhaps they need to go through this path to find their calling. In this case, you are doing a disservice to your friend, not trusting them and seeing them as weak.
Always think from the position of "first me, then others", do not justify your desires and actions. The reason for refusal can be not only a problem or poor health, but also a desire to drink coffee, take a walk in the fresh air, go on a date. If you choose to relax and then reproach yourself for it, it means that you cannot withstand your "good", that is, you doubt how good a person you are. Unconditionally agreeing to requests, in the future you will not be able to cope with large finances, responsibility and grow professionally."
Sometimes, to the detriment of ourselves and our personal lives, we rush to help others, without thinking about the limitations of our resources and whether the person really needs help that much. Maybe he just wants to shift responsibility to us or get a benefit. Such situations can be recognized and a person can be responded to in a way that does not offend him. How to do this - we will tell in the article.
Analyze what you are not willing to give up
Once you determine what website development service is truly important to you and what you are not willing to spend your time on, then you will be able to confidently say “no” to someone. Write down on a piece of paper a list of activities, events, and people that are a priority for you. This way, you will clearly understand your desires and boundaries, and also understand in which situations you can help and in which you will definitely refuse.
Say no to the request, not the person.
You were approached with a request, which means that you are considered a good person who can help out in a difficult moment. But this does not oblige you to fulfill the request unconditionally. If you refuse to help, you will not spoil the relationship with the person. You just cannot help at the moment. Thank the person who turned to you and give a polite answer.
Take online courses for free
and discover new opportunities
Start studying
Explain the reason
It will be easier for you to refuse a request if you voice the reason, and the person will understand you better and will not be offended. Do not be afraid to say that you are busy or tired, you have a meeting planned and it is important for you to attend it. Just explain why you cannot help right now.
Don't give up, be relentless
Some people do not understand negative answers and begin to persuade, manipulate and play on pity. Do not give in to persuasion, repeat the reason for refusal again and emphasize that it is really important for you. If the opponent continues to insist on the request, do not be afraid to answer him "no" with the same confidence.
Be bold in your decisions
If you are used to saying yes to any request, you need to gather up the courage to start saying no to people. Some people agree to help because they are afraid of offending someone, do not want to be thought of badly, or are worried that they will miss a good opportunity and regret it. Explain to yourself that by saying no to a request, you free up your time for more important and meaningful things that will improve your life.
Polite refusal will help you stay effective and maintain your peace of mind. Knowing when to say “no” will not make you a bad person, but will help you become self-confident and move clearly towards your goals. Learn how to outline personal boundaries and prevent their violation in the free course “ Conflict Management ”. You will learn to identify the causes and stages of conflicts, and also master techniques and methods for managing negative emotions.
We asked Olesya Nikolaevna Rozhkova, a psychologist and master's degree in Developmental Psychology, to explain what prevents a person from refusing others and defending their boundaries.
Psychologist Rozhkova"Let's look at the situation using an example: a colleague comes to you and asks you to make a report. You have your own important tasks, but it's hard for you to refuse, because you are a good employee and can help, albeit to your own detriment. The situation can be compared to the following: a friend asks to borrow a large sum of money. You don't have that kind of money, but you feel uncomfortable refusing, so you agree and go to the bank to get a loan. And then you work all year to pay back the debt with interest. If someone asks you for help, make sure that you have enough resources to fulfill the request. When you don't have enough time or energy, you shouldn't agree.
Another example: a girl comes up to you and asks for 26 rubles for a taxi, you have 126 rubles in your wallet. You can give the money, but then you will have to sacrifice your needs. Always be honest with yourself: "I have no energy and resources." Monitor your condition and do not bring yourself to the extreme, when there is not enough air and you begin to suffocate.
Or another case, your brother got offended when you refused to help him, and this bothers you. Here it is important to learn to withstand other people's emotions. Everyone has the right to their feelings and should not ask you if he can be sad or happy.
To learn how to refuse people, it is important to see their strength and believe that each person can cope with their problems. Sometimes you need to be able to admit your weakness, that you are not omnipotent and cannot save everyone. Respect the fate of another person and sincerely believe that he can solve the problem on his own. Do not try to measure others by your strength, but try to see in a person his capabilities. You should not do the work for someone else and change someone else's fate.
For example, a friend is struggling and is on the verge of quitting. You try your best to help them, ignoring the fact that this activity is simply not right for them and perhaps they need to go through this path to find their calling. In this case, you are doing a disservice to your friend, not trusting them and seeing them as weak.
Always think from the position of "first me, then others", do not justify your desires and actions. The reason for refusal can be not only a problem or poor health, but also a desire to drink coffee, take a walk in the fresh air, go on a date. If you choose to relax and then reproach yourself for it, it means that you cannot withstand your "good", that is, you doubt how good a person you are. Unconditionally agreeing to requests, in the future you will not be able to cope with large finances, responsibility and grow professionally."